I saw Austin’s ranking of quarterbacks off of stats. And when I read it I thought it made sense, but also made no sense at all. Because as much as the stats say Kirk Cousins was an above average QB the eye test does not.
So here is the Unofficial Ranking of Josh’s Quarterbacks.
#01 Aaron Rodgers
The Fuck you tour is on pace to get to the Super Bow. And the man threw for like 7 touchdowns a game with talent around him that is considered less than.
#02 – Patrick Mahomes
They guy plays on auto pilot for about 3 and a half quarters then goes oh shit i’m down by 21 and then makes it rain on his opponent.
#03 – Josh Allen
Look if the other two dudes didn’t exist or he played for like the Giants or Cowboys people would be pumping him so full of air he would float away. Circle the Wagons Josh Allen for MVP.
#04 – Ryan Fitzpatrick
Look I have no idea what the stats say but the eye test tells me that when this team needed a play he made it. When they needed a leader he was it. From the sidelines or the scrimmage line. Fitzmagic or die bitch!
#05 – Dak Prescott
Did we all forget the best 4 games of the season had by anyone was Dak. He was dominating in a contract year. Heartbroken what happened to him and the moneyball team.
#06 – Ben Roethlisberger
Homer pick i don’t give a shit. Big Ben is back baby.
#07 – Teddy Bridgewater
If you can look me in the face and tell me honestly you thought Teddy Two Gloves would be this good you’re a liar. What a year for him. And a good thing for the Panthers heading forward.
#08 – Baker Mayfield
Dude what? I thought Baker sucked? I thought he was too small. Yeah shut up Baker rocks deal with it.
#09 – Joe Burrow
Big Dick Joe laid his giant pelvic muscle on table and told the NFL who the new boss is. Then he got hurt. But if he can do what he did without the any talent around him by god it’s scary to think what can happen.
#10 – Russel Wilson
Let Russ Cook, more like let Russ try to win the Super Bowl in the first 4 weeks of the season. Then Russ’s food got cold, and the Seahawks were just ok.
#11 – Deshaun Watson
The man was winning games by himself. They essentially needed him to play both sides of the ball. If they would have let him play safety he would have.
#12 – Kyler Murray
Kyler was pretty good this year. Some games he was great. Plenty of room to grow, and he lead his team when they needed him.
#13 – Lamar Jackson
Lamar was real bad and now that the Ravens are letting him play his game he is real good.
#14 – Drew Brees/Taysom Hill
Brees may not have the long ball in his back pocket anymore, but he is still just a great QB. I think when Drew does decide to hang em up Sean Payton is going to unleash Taysom Hill on the world.
#15 – Tom Brady
TOMpa Bay, gonna win the division, Super Bowl Champs, blow me.
#16 – Nick Mullens
He just loves football, how is this guy not a starter lol?
#17 – Matthew Stafford
Just showing up for work is worth being in the top 20 and he kept the lions relevant longer then they should have been.
#18 – Justin Herbert
Please keep all team doctors away from the new toy please.
#19 – Derrick Henry
You fucking think the Titans would be where they are without him your wrong. They could have Daffy Duck at quarterback it wouldn’t matter.
#20 – The Washington Football Team Defensive Line
Only reason this team stumbled into the playoffs.
#21 – Derek Carr
Have you ever read a Greek Tragedy. Some parts are fun others aren’t and at the end we all learn a lesson.
#22 – Philip Rivers
You bets you’re sweet patootie the old mans still got it.
#23 – Sean McVay
Sean McVay is a mastermind, finally his team is built the way he wants. Now he needs his QB to settle in.
#24 – Gardner Minshew
GAAAARDNEEEEER!!! P.S. I hope they Steelers trade for him, he is going to love WDVE.
#25 – Mitchell Trubisky
Mitchy Mitch Mitch, keep proving em wrong kid. But, no he is not a good QB.
#26 – Jalen Hurts
Too small of a sample size to tell but he could be awesome or he could be Carson Wentz.
#27 – Matt Ryan
He was just ok, he will probably start somewhere next year but maybe he shouldn’t.
#28 – Drew Lock
Dude it’s not hard to throw a ball to Jerry Judy. Or maybe it is. I don’t know, does it matter they will never beat the Chiefs.
#29 -Daniel Jones/Sam Darnold
People tell me they are good but I don’t know the difference between them.
#30 – Kirk Cousins
Throw the fucking ball Kirk.