Josh’s Ranking of NFL QUARTERBACKS

I saw Austin’s ranking of quarterbacks off of stats. And when I read it I thought it made sense, but also made no sense at all. Because as much as the stats say Kirk Cousins was an above average QB the eye test does not.

So here is the Unofficial Ranking of Josh’s Quarterbacks.

#01 Aaron Rodgers

The Fuck you tour is on pace to get to the Super Bow. And the man threw for like 7 touchdowns a game with talent around him that is considered less than.

#02 – Patrick Mahomes

They guy plays on auto pilot for about 3 and a half quarters then goes oh shit i’m down by 21 and then makes it rain on his opponent.

#03 – Josh Allen

Look if the other two dudes didn’t exist or he played for like the Giants or Cowboys people would be pumping him so full of air he would float away. Circle the Wagons Josh Allen for MVP.

#04 – Ryan Fitzpatrick

Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Ryan Fitzpatrick (14) talks during a post game news conference following an NFL football game against the Philadelphia Eagles, Sunday, Sept. 16, 2018, in Tampa, Fla. The Buccaneers defeated the Eagles 27- 21. (AP Photo/Mark LoMoglio) ORG XMIT: OTK

Look I have no idea what the stats say but the eye test tells me that when this team needed a play he made it. When they needed a leader he was it. From the sidelines or the scrimmage line. Fitzmagic or die bitch!

#05 – Dak Prescott

Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott (4) lifts his fist to cheers from fans as he is carted off the field after suffering a lower right leg injury running the ball in the second half of an NFL football game against the New York Giants in Arlington, Texas, Sunday, Oct. 11, 2020. (AP Photo/Michael Ainsworth)

Did we all forget the best 4 games of the season had by anyone was Dak. He was dominating in a contract year. Heartbroken what happened to him and the moneyball team.

#06 – Ben Roethlisberger

Homer pick i don’t give a shit. Big Ben is back baby.

#07 – Teddy Bridgewater

Oct 25, 2020; New Orleans, Louisiana, USA; Carolina Panthers quarterback Teddy Bridgewater (5) warms up prior to kickoff against the New Orleans Saints at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

If you can look me in the face and tell me honestly you thought Teddy Two Gloves would be this good you’re a liar. What a year for him. And a good thing for the Panthers heading forward.

#08 – Baker Mayfield

Dude what? I thought Baker sucked? I thought he was too small. Yeah shut up Baker rocks deal with it.

#09 – Joe Burrow

Big Dick Joe laid his giant pelvic muscle on table and told the NFL who the new boss is. Then he got hurt. But if he can do what he did without the any talent around him by god it’s scary to think what can happen.

#10 – Russel Wilson

Let Russ Cook, more like let Russ try to win the Super Bowl in the first 4 weeks of the season. Then Russ’s food got cold, and the Seahawks were just ok.

#11 – Deshaun Watson

The man was winning games by himself. They essentially needed him to play both sides of the ball. If they would have let him play safety he would have.

#12 – Kyler Murray

Sep 27, 2020; Glendale, Arizona, USA; Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kyler Murray (1) warms up prior to facing the Detroit Lions at State Farm Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Kyler was pretty good this year. Some games he was great. Plenty of room to grow, and he lead his team when they needed him.

#13 – Lamar Jackson

Lamar was real bad and now that the Ravens are letting him play his game he is real good.

#14 – Drew Brees/Taysom Hill

Brees may not have the long ball in his back pocket anymore, but he is still just a great QB. I think when Drew does decide to hang em up Sean Payton is going to unleash Taysom Hill on the world.

#15 – Tom Brady

TOMpa Bay, gonna win the division, Super Bowl Champs, blow me.

#16 – Nick Mullens

He just loves football, how is this guy not a starter lol? 

#17 – Matthew Stafford

DETROIT, MI – SEPTEMBER 13: Matthew Stafford #9 of the Detroit Lions walks during the first quarter against the Chicago Bears at Ford Field on September 13, 2020 in Detroit, Michigan. (Photo by Nic Antaya/Getty Images)

Just showing up for work is worth being in the top 20 and he kept the lions relevant longer then they should have been.

#18 – Justin Herbert

Please keep all team doctors away from the new toy please.

#19 – Derrick Henry

You fucking think the Titans would be where they are without him your wrong. They could have Daffy Duck at quarterback it wouldn’t matter.

#20 – The Washington Football Team Defensive Line

LANDOVER, MD – OCTOBER 25: Chase Young #99 of the Washington Football Team reacts before the game against the Dallas Cowboys at FedExField on October 25, 2020 in Landover, Maryland. (Photo by Scott Taetsch/Getty Images)

Only reason this team stumbled into the playoffs.

#21 – Derek Carr

Have you ever read a Greek Tragedy. Some parts are fun others aren’t and at the end we all learn a lesson. 

#22 – Philip Rivers

You bets you’re sweet patootie the old mans still got it.

#23 – Sean McVay

Apr 5, 2018; Thousand Oaks, CA, USA: Los Angeles Rams coach Sean McVay at a press conference at Cal Lutheran. Mandatory Credit: Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Sean McVay is a mastermind, finally his team is built the way he wants. Now he needs his QB to settle in.

#24 – Gardner Minshew

INGLEWOOD, CALIFORNIA – OCTOBER 25: Gardner Minshew #15 of the Jacksonville Jaguars smiles before the game against the Los Angeles Chargers at SoFi Stadium on October 25, 2020 in Inglewood, California. (Photo by Katelyn Mulcahy/Getty Images)

GAAAARDNEEEEER!!! P.S. I hope they Steelers trade for him, he is going to love WDVE.

#25 – Mitchell Trubisky

Mitchy Mitch Mitch, keep proving em wrong kid. But, no he is not a good QB.

#26 – Jalen Hurts

Too small of a sample size to tell but he could be awesome or he could be Carson Wentz.

#27 –  Matt Ryan

He was just ok, he will probably start somewhere next year but maybe he shouldn’t.

#28 – Drew Lock

Dude it’s not hard to throw a ball to Jerry Judy. Or maybe it is. I don’t know, does it matter they will never beat the Chiefs.

#29  -Daniel Jones/Sam Darnold

New York Giants quarterback Daniel Jones (8) walks away after meeting with New York Jets quarterback Sam Darnold (14) after the NFL football game between the Giants and Jets at MetLife Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ on 11/10/19. The Jets won 34-27. Chris Faytok | NJ Advance Media for NJ.com

People tell me they are good but I don’t know the difference between them.

#30 – Kirk Cousins

Throw the fucking ball Kirk.

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