A heater isn’t the perfect term for my recent betting success, but I’m fairly warm. Last Thursday in honor of the sports world returning, I laid a fairly straight forward parlay expecting, as always, success. To spice it up I decided to pick two favorites and two dogs cause, you know, I’m just insane. 

What’s a ten buck wager on $100 that you know is going to hit? Being the massive baseball guy I am the Cubs money-line just screamed to me with Yu Darvish on the mound against the Reds, my first dog of the parlay. To balance I added the Yankees, a team of destiny currently against the pathetic Orioles. 2-0. The biggest question of my night was the simple miscalculation of just how insane the Utah Jazz can be, even against the superbly hyped Zion Williamson led Pelicans. It’s not that I don’t like the Pelicans, but there’s no reason they should be favored against the Jazz. 

Boom. Free fifty bucks. 

The following day I felt the itch kick back in. I mean, 10 to 50 is enough of a pay increase for me to assume I have some fun coupons for betting. Four NBA teams, all money line, all favorites except for the night game. We cruised through the first two games with the Suns and Blazers handling their business easily. Just for the record, I’ normally will bet on the Blazers. A continued lack of respect for their stars matched with a pretty unflattering record make them favorites for me always, especially against the Grizzlies. The bucks (who will now forever live in anti-Deke purgatory) cleaned up the Celtics leading to a three straight hit on the favorites. The only dog on the parlay were the Spurs who played the Kings. As I sort of soberly asked everyone who would listen “Should I pull out for $140?” One voice rose above the rest.

“WHEN IN DOUBT, TRUST POP” a normally reserved Greg yelled at me, which proved to be the driving force around me going to check on the payout on last time as my phone suddenly died. I later realized….

Boom. Three Hunnid bucks. 

Which leads me to today. A spry young spirit, I traditionally refrain from betting on games I can’t watch, meaning I wanted to lean against the early games on my way to vacation. The added rush of potentially being able to either afford Morton’s delivered for a week or ramen in a cup just makes sports that much better however so I just had to. I laid down a 6 game parlay which kicked off with the F***** Bucks against the Nets, a literal cake walk. I should have seen it coming. I should have known Giannis was going to flop when the line was -18.  A literally -2500 sitting right in front of my face and I thought “Well, the Nets won’t lost by 18 but they won’t win.” 

These just giant bums. It couldn’t have been the Braves over Toronto of the Brewers over the White Sox, two games that felt wrong in their own right. There was nooooo way it would be the Clippers over the Suns, right? Nope. It was the first offing game of the 6 team parlay.

Nothing, and I mean nothing is worse than sitting here with a “Settled” betlist just watching the other teams win knowing that if I would have just skipped the “obvious” one I would still be having just a swell Tuesday. Just for the record, Elsass ties into this blog for loving the Bucks. He gave me no advice, most likely doesn’t even want me gambling and is only involved in this for one reason…his constant love and praise for the Bucks. 

It’s a simple concept really. Take the movie inception, replace dreams with thoughts of how cool The Greek Freak is and BOOM – Josh infiltrated my brain and made me think the Bucks really were this God sent team. I’m not sure who he’s working for just yet or what his end game is, but what I do know is if Josh likes a team, bet against them*. 

*At least in this one instance. This is not formal betting advice* 

I also bet on the Preds. Boom. Seventy Buckaroos.