Everyone’s A Pop-Tart Critic

Yesterday was a weird day for me, as I figured out I have apparently been eating Pop-Tarts the wrong way my entire life. It all started with a simple conversation between my coworker Steve and I. Steve was telling me about a stream he watched, and one of the streamers stated, “the best way to eat a Pop-Tart is to heat it in the microwave for 21 seconds.” He said the other streamers were shocked by this, and when he told me the story I wasn’t sure what the problem was. After a long pause I said, “Wait, so what? Isn’t that how you eat your Pop-Tarts? After I asked that question to Steve the whole day went downhill.

Steve then replied, “What? You put your Pop-Tarts in the microwave? Who does that?” So then we go around the office asking other coworkers how they heat their Pop-Tarts, and basically everyone was against me and called me a weirdo.

It was mind-blowing to me no one has ever tried or heard of microwaving a Pop-Tart before. The whole point of a microwave is to heat up food to your liking, I just didn’t and still don’t understand why you wouldn’t put it in the microwave, since it heats it up perfectly.

So since all my coworkers were against me, I decided to reach out to other friends asking the simple question, “How do you heat up your Pop-Tarts?”. Most of the responses were something like, ” A toaster….why, how do you?” When I responded, “A microwave”, my friends turned into monsters! I was called things like a weirdo, psychopath, and barbarian. Those toaster peoples’ true emotions came out, and it wasn’t pretty. Mutiny Inline tweeted out I was suspended because of conduct detrimental to the team, and our leader Deke even said I was fired. So if that’s the case this might be my final article, but it was worth it!

Deke even went so far as conducting his own poll asking, who microwaves their Pop-Tarts? Although his results show I am in the wrong, I question the validity of this poll. I appreciate all of you who are team microwave, even if I can count the total number of you on one hand.

I understand most people use the toaster to heat up their Pop-Tarts, but I have always used the microwave and will continue to do so. I don’t use it for all of the Pop-Tarts I eat, just certain kinds like s’mores and hot fudge sundae ones. I mean if the Pop-Tart wasn’t meant to be microwaved why would it say this on the package?

The microwave gives it the perfect amount of heat, and keeps the Pop-Tart soft, and overall tastes like heaven. I highly recommend you give the microwave a try before calling me a psycho or weirdo, because don’t knock until you try it. Who knows maybe you’ll love a nice warm microwaved Pop-Tart?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s