Listen up, fellers. My quest to become an NFL quarterback starts today.

Over the weekend, the New Orleans Saints did a thing and extended utility man Taysom Hill’s contract for an additional two years at $4.6 million.

Not bad for a guys who has completed six career NFL passes.

You know what else happened? It was announced that the Saints are ALSO reportedly signing Jameis Winston as a free agent.

So with Brees, Hill, and Winston, that’s three viable options at quarterback. Can you spell “quarterback controversy”???

But it didn’t stop there.

With their seventh round pick at #240, the Saints ALSO picked up Mississippi State QB (and former Penn State guy (not to brag, just facts)) Tommy Stevens.

Some are saying this will be Taysom Hill 2.0 (not me, just some people) (but also kinda me). Not only that, the Saints TRADED BACK UP in the seventh round to get this guy. Must have really enjoyed the tape of him playing the esteemed “Lion” position in Happy Valley, a position they literally made from thin air to get him on the field.

Hmm… so not one QB, not two, not three…

So the question remains… who aren’t the Saints gonna sign at quarterback? You think they’re gonna bring in the former Butt-Fumble master himself, Mark Sanchez? What about former 28-year old Heisman winner, Chris Weinke? Or the former CEO of The Cheesecake Factory, Vince Young (look it up, the amount of Cheesecake Factory that guy bought as a Titan was absurd)? Maybe they could even sign Rams punter Johnny Hekker, who throws DARTS.

The point here is that the Saints are going down a slippery slope. Soon, they’ll probably have quarterbacks on the roster playing defense, just because of their expertise on NFL offenses. Could you imagine Minkah Fitzpatrick getting signed to play QB in the Big Easy? That’d be so COVID-19 (aka SICK).

There’s no end in sight to this madness. SO, having said that, I’m officially announcing my candidacy to be signed as the newest addition New Orleans QB room.

Smalls’ Scouting Report according to Daniel Jeremiah:

Pros: Extensive knowledge of the wishbone offense, played sports in high school, watches too much college football in the fall, played four games of IM flag football on a winless team, eats Campbell’s Chunky Soup just like Donovan McNabb, overpriced engineering degree, has more moxy than Matt McGloin

Cons: Athleticism peaked in high school, name is Smalls for a reason, that’s it

NFL Combine Results: n/a because of this pandemic (safety first)

Your move, Sean Payton. You have twenty-four hours.