Official White Claw Ranks

White Claw summer 2019 has officially passed but my love for White Claw has not. This is more than a drink at this point, it’s a life style. To put it simple, the alcoholic seltzer took over and the saying became 1000% true: Ain’t no laws when you’re drinking claws baby! 

My first white claw experience was a roller coaster. It was Memorial Day weekend and I was at PNC Park on a beautiful, hot Sunday afternoon with my girlfriend, Nikki, friend Hope, and her boyfriend Dave.

They were playing the LA Dodgers and I was hungover as hell because I was at my friend Rachana and Steve’s wedding the night before. It was a magical ceremony and of course the alcoholic beverages were consumed all day and night.

So back to Sunday.

The first drink I got was a 24 oz Miller Lite. This is always my go-to for beer. I took three sips and swear I could feel it sweating right back out of me. 

Nikki and Hope left to get food and texted Dave and myself to bring them drinks. They specifically asked for White Claw too. Dave and I walked from our seats in left to Pop’s plaza to get in line for the drinks. I look at Dave and just said “bro don’t judge me for what I’m about to do.” Of course I took the plunge with the women and got myself a Black Cherry White Claw pounder. I just couldn’t drink beer anymore because it was hot and wasn’t sitting right at all. I knew White Claw was a seltzer water so my thought process was hair of the dog. I could get hydrated and not smell like beer all day. 

I finished one and oh boy I could not have been more woke. It was like the clouds in the sky parted and god himself shined his light on that 19.2 oz can! I never ever thought I could have a buzz and be hydrated at the same time. I had 4 more pounders down at the park and of course the Pirates lost. I was having a blast with my friends and girlfriend just doing whatever at this point. I had so much fun in fact I left my phone on the T train. That thing took a ride all the way to South Hills where I luckily got it back. Moral of the story: White Claw summer was born and I would never disrespect that drink ever again. It saved me due to my severe wedding hangover, kept me in the moment and out of my phone to the point where I completely forgot about it in the worst place to. However, it also set the tone for White Claw Summer 2019. 

Now the summer may be over but after thorough and extensive research, I am releasing the official White Claw flavor rankings. Not to step on the toes of the Rank King Austin Moorhead, but he isn’t qualified for this one. I’ve been preaching the deliciousness of this drink all summer and everyone knows it! Without further ado, the flavors ranked from worst to best are as follows.

5. Lime

Lime is number No. 6 on this list because it’s the least inspiring to me. This is a basic flavor and I can say I’ve recently experimented by adding some tequila for that extra zing. If you have to add to the claw though, that should say all you need to know.

4. Grapefruit 

I have it No. 4 on this list because I appreciate the tang of it. It deviates from the typical flavors like grape, orange, or watermelon (@WhiteClaw take notes) which I can appreciate. People seem to love it too considering you can get this in a pounder where you can’t for some others *lime cough cough.

3. Mango

I can’t lie, I absolutely love this flavor. Again it’s different because it’s not a vintage flavor or drink. What I don’t like about it is that it’s only sold in 6 or pounders. I don’t want to have to buy and entire 6 pack of pounders even though I will and drink them. I like variety! It’s the inconvenience that just throws a damper on this flavor. Hopefully White Claw adds more flavors to the point where there’s another variety pack. 

2. Raspberry

I’ve heard people say they hate this and I just give them the most awkward look ever. I don’t understand how anyone can hate the second best flavor of White Claw! It’s delicious in every way and if you are a hater, I’ll gladly take all the Raspberry flavors to the head for you.

1.Black Cherry

The OG. Nothing can ever beat your first love and as you can see if you’re at this point, I clearly had myself a day off of the Black Cherry White Claws. 

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