Smalls’ Prop Bets for Rounds 2-3 (As They Happened)

6:57 pm: *reluctantly cracks a Lime White Claw because I’m still feeling the effects of last night*

Tee Higgins picked before Denzel Mims (+135)

7:17 pm: STARTING OFF HOT, BOYS. Higgins goes first in the second round. The Shitzinatti Bungals get it right (for my bet at least).

7:18 pm: *happily downs last half of the first White Claw*

Jonathan Taylor picked before D’Andre Swift (+210)

7:25 pm: Dammit. Swift goes to the Lions at 35. The betting gods just have to take away my potential hot start (cue 2007 #1 Michigan vs unranked Appalachian State)

7:26 pm: *fresh White Claw*

Xavier McKinney picked before Trevon Diggs (-220)

7:32 pm: MCKINNEY TO THE GIANTS. This one was easy money, had no worries. Might not have to get piss drunk tonight after all.

7:35 pm: Has nothing to do with this prop bet, but did Bill Belichik really just pick a D2 safety from Lenoir-Rhyne College in the 2nd round…? I swear I’m not drunk yet. Billy Boy is just f****n’ around at this point.

Wide Receiver as 1st position drafted by Pittsburgh Steelers (+550)

7:39 pm: Pretty sure this is a lock (maybe).

7:58 pm: There goes Laviska… Lot of receivers getting picked… kinda nervous…

8:07 pm: *cracks SweetWater 420 Strain IPA* *blaze it*

8:14 pm: Denzel Mims still on the board… Let’s go Mike T, do the right thing. My body needs it.

8:23 pm: Steelers on the clock. Pick is already in. This is too fast. I’m nervous. More nervous than 2018 Penn State vs App State in OT.

8:24 pm: Commercial… what a tease. I don’t need to see another company pretending to care about society during this pandemic. F**k you, Lexus.


8:28 pm: *Finishes 420 Strain IPA* *blaze it*

Wide Receiver as next position drafted by Green Bay Packers (+135)

8:30 pm: Last one for the night. Let’s ride.

8:47 pm: Really tryna go 4 for 5 tonight. Not sure why the Packers wouldn’t go WR here. Unless they go for another QB to piss off Rodgers even more, which would only be logical at this point. I think this is a lock.

8:48 pm: *pours tall glass of Jameson to ease the tension*

9:18 pm: Idk if it’s all that whiskey, but I have an unprecedented level of confidence right now. About to run through a wall.

9:21 pm: *another crispy whiskey guy because I’m actually feeling unsure of my bet*

9:27 pm: Moment of truth, let’s end my degenerate ways on a high note tonight. *takes big boy swig*

9:28 pm: Uh.. so.. AJ Dillon? Really? Matt LaFleur, you baffoon. Giving Aaron nothing more than he already has. Christ. What a waste. Wasted my time on this one. This makes me sick, never gambling on the draft again. Where’s the bottle?

9:31 pm: *scrolls through prop bets again for Round 3*

Record for Friday Night: 3 for 5, with a big win at +550 with the Steelers pick. Out of the red, into the green. Let’s ride. #sportsareback

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