Stake Your XFL Fandom!

The NFL season has come to an official end with the crowning of the Super Bowl Champion Kansas City Chiefs, a moment where all football fans took a collective sigh and prepared for the long wait for next season. Time and time again, we have tried to fill that void with a variety of sports and other hobbies, none quite filling the hole.

There have been iterations of a football league that spans through time, most recently with the start and fail of the AAF. The XFL starts this Saturday with its first weekend of games, a glimmering hope that we as a football-loving society might have a shot at happiness in between NFL season.

I actually do think that the XFL has a very real chance to be around for a while. A combination of understanding the purpose of this league and a cool $500 million smackeroos from Vince himself should propel this league into existence. One word of advice for the XFL; do not try to join forces with the NFL. The NFL wants nothing to do with outside exposure.

I wanted to run through the different rosters in the XFL in an attempt to help the casual fan pick their team before kickoff tomorrow! So read below, pick your team and hold your breath that the product is as quality as the hype!

The XFL Teams

Dallas Renegades

Led by the long time Oklahoma head coach Bob Stoops, the Renegades come in as the top-ranked team in the XFL preseason power rankings. Landry Jones is arguably the best player in the league and should set the tone early in the league thanks to his time in the NFL. The Renegades also have names like Jazz Ferguson, a big receiver who had some murmurs of success in last years draft, Lance Dunbar, a name that was with the Dallas Cowboys for years, Cameron Artis-Payne, a guy who spent time with the Carolina Panthers, and Chartiers Valley’s own Christian Kuntz at linebacker.

DC Defenders

The Defenders started off STRONG with choosing Cardale Jones as their Quarterback. The Ohio State product is known best for his Natty run a few years back and is known for crying “tears of joy” when he was traded out of Buffalo to the Chargers. They also have Tyree Jackson, a 6’7″ QB from Buffalo this past year, Eli Rodgers, a former Steelers cult hero who I am super excited for, Malachi Dupre, a former Packers draft pick and Donnel Pumphrey, a former college GOD at San Diego State where he broke the all time rushing record. The Defenders come in as the third team in the XFL Power Rankings.

Houston Roughnecks

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Arguably the best name of any of these teams is the Roughnecks. Nothing screams “we will work harder than you” than a Roughneck. The Necks start with quarterback Connor Cook, a former Michigan State QB who had a short stint as a backup in the NFL but had some high expectations to at least remain in the NFL. The Neck’s (lol) also have Sammie Coates, a former Pittsburgh Steeler who didn’t quite pan out, Toby Weathersby, a former Patriots Lineman and of course my favorite diamond in the rough Coastal Carolina’s OWN De’Angelo Henderson! The Necks are ranked 7th currently.

LA Wildcats

This is the team I have planted my flag in just to find out a day later they shipped Luis Perez to New York, but I cannot change now! The Wildcats are 5th in the power rankings and are led by Josh Johnson who is best known for learning his teammates names on Madden, with backup Jalan McClendon of Baylor providing optimism. The Cats also have Nelson Spruce, a cult hero from the LA Rams Hard Knocks episode, Elijah Hood, a former UDFA for the Carolina Panthers, Nico Siragusa, a former Baltimore Ravens lineman and last but not least Shawn Oakman, the former Baylor DE who’s best known for the amazing memes around his jacked physique.

NY Guardians

The Guardians now have my favorite XFL Quarterback in Luis Perez who had a solid run in the AAF before the league folded. They also have Matt McGloin, the former PSU and Oakland Raider, Damien Mama, the former USC guard who recorded the slowest 40 time at his combine and Matthew McCrane, the former Arizona Cardinals kicker. Yay for kickers!

St. Louis Battlehawks

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Another absolute quality name here in the Battlehawks, which might make up for the fact that the Rams left St. Louis and never looked back. The Hawks are led by Jordan Ta’amu, a former standout at Ole Miss. The Hawk’s also have Marquette King, the Raiders Punter who celebrated his ass of on every play, Christian Michael, the former Seahawk and Cole Hunt, a former UDFA for the Chargers.

Seattle Dragons

For some reason I continue to call this team the Seadragons, which honestly should have been their name from the start. The Dragons start the season with Brandon Silvers at Qb, a former player at Troy and arguably the weakest starting QB in the league. The team also roster Kenneth Farrow formerly of the Chargers and honestly, that’s it for guys I know. Oof.

Tampa Bay Vipers

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A number of TFTB guys have already selected the Vipers as their squad, a strong stance considering they are 6th in the power rankings. The team is led by Marc Trestman, the former CFL GAWD and Bears Coach. As Josh said this morning, the team brought in Quinton Flowers to compete with starter Aaron Murray for the QB spot. The team also has Mack Brown, a journeyman RB from a bunch of NFL teams and a surprise add in Antonio Callaway, the former Florida standout who proved his off the field issues would overshadow his amazing athletic ability for the Browns. What an add.

So, pick your team, get the beer ready and watch the XFL kickoff tomorrow!

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