A Yinzer’s (profane) Letter to Bob Nutting

Dear bitch boy Bobby Nuts,

We in this beautifully constructed city have had enough of this tyranny. You don’t give a flying shit about this town or the people within it. Your track record only has shit stains on it. Let’s think back on players that hit their prime that you dished away in the last 20 years. Jason Kendall, Freddy Sanchez, Jason Bay, Nate McClouth, Russell Martin, David Freese, Gerritt Cole, and the first Pittsburgh hero the entire city has had since Clemente, Andrew McCutchen.

And what do we get in return? “Prospects” and MONEY. Which is clearly all you care about. I think the only reason we had guys like that in the first place, was to get asses in seats to make you money, and then trade them for money that goes directly to you and your crooked ass family to open another chain of newspapers.


Us Yinzers are passionate about our Bucco baseball but damn do you make it difficult to sit by and watch those athletes play their hearts out for an owner who couldn’t give two shits if they’re a Pirate or a burger flipper.

As an owner, you are supposed to propel that team to win and let them be the pride of the city, and you don’t ever do that you selfish bastard. It’s been 40 YEARS since our last World Series and that’s YOUR fault. No wonder your last name is Nutting because you’re “nutting” down on an entire hopeful city you heartless donkey turd.

Pittsburgh deserves better than that. But what would you know? You’re a West Virginia boy! We will support the TEAM but NOT YOU. If you see me at a game, it’ll be to support the boys on the field while holding a sign that either says “Bob Nutting hates Pittsburgh” or “Bob Nutting: the Anti-Christ”. And that’s a fact jagoff.

So you continue to sit in your luxury booth eating bon bons and lunchable pizzas or whatever your futile ass is in to because somehow someway we will push you to sell. It seems like every team has a game plan to win or at least want to win except for us and that’s fucked. Fuck you Bob, FUCK YOU. We’ve absolutely had it. We love this team and it’s sad most citizens could run it better than you. Do the right thing for once, step down, take your precious money and let us progress as a city with our beloved baseball team. Later you can read about us in your newspaper. Let’s. Go. Bucs.


Benny Buckets

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