Violent Predictions

(yawn) It has been far to long my friends. . .

Who is ready to hear some crazy predictions that probably are not going to come true, but are going to create great conversations?  Well, you won’t get that here, but here are my thoughts on what is to come next year in sports. Biff Tannen’s almanac only went to 2000, so hop in your DeLorean and get ready to hear some ridiculousness.

 

Let’s talk about the Kentucky Derby- why you ask?  Why would anyone besides rich billionaires, Jenny Craig, and women who think a man finishing under 2 minutes is deserves to be treated like a king, care about this sport?  Because it’s a hell of a good time to yell at the tv about something beyond your control and placing bets are fun! (Disclaimer: if you have a gambling problem please reach out to some gambling problem help line…you won’t get that here).  My prediction for the winner of the Derby will be which ever horse is in gate 8. Since the horses will not be determined until May 2020, I still have sound reasoning. Statistically speaking, gate 8 has had 8 winners since 1930. Crazy 8’s!   It’s no gate 5, who has had 10 winners, but greats like Mine That Bird (2009); Barbaro (2006); Go for Gin (1994); Unbridled (1990); Majestic Prince (1969); Lucky Debonair (1965); Swaps (1955); Cavalcade (1934), have all won jumping out of that gate!  8 is great, 8 is black on the roulette wheel- always bet on black! Henry the 8th, he was king for a while, there are 8 wonders of the ancient world, 8 is a Fibonacci number. All these reasons are why Derby Winner for 2020 will be shooting out of gate 8.  Also, I predict the hottest day in Waco Tx this year will be August, 8th.

 

Next, let’s dive into another sport that gets little to no love.  Ballroom dancing. Have you taken a second to watch this? Have you seen a solid two step?  Watched a waltz just BLOW your mind? Yeah, me neither. I predict a lady and a guy are going to take it all.  She’ll wear pink and high heels and he’ll rock a funeral suit. There will be sweat, there will be tears, there will be triumph…..but no one will be watching.

 

On to the nitty gritty, the real deal, the actual predictions that make the world go round.  HOCKEY! That’s what the folks came here to read!

 

Only one name has dominated the hockey scoring title since 2008- Alex Ovechkin.  Granted, he is known for his cherry picking skills at the top of the crease to help elevate  his scoring chances, but there is no denying it, he’s hard to beat. With 8 titles under his belt rocking the number 8 (whoa, there’s that number AGAIN), he seems like the perfect fit for this 2019-2020.  But not to me, nope. He is old news. We are going to see a STRONG showing from a different player. A left winger NO ONE saw coming. A player who was born in ’88, who has been in the league since 2008 (drafted in 06, 8th pick in the 3rd round) Boston Bruins Brad Marchand (I am telling you 8 is the way to go in this world).  Here’s what I like about the guy. He’s Canadian. His nick name is Little Ball of Hate, could there be anything cooler? He is considered feisty, irritating and agitating. All the best traits of a hockey player. He has gotten a taste of being top 10 when it comes to most points in the league, he was number 8…this should not shock you , there is a theme here.   Look out for him to make some waves this season. He’s about to get as feisty as Snookie getting a drunk in public after her 8th drink.

 

Who is going to go you the Stanley Cup finals…. Tampa Bay Lightning vs Calgary Flames. Here’s why, lightning hitting the ground causes flames, it’s simple and obviously the correct out come. In all honesty, these two teams are pretty fierce. You want stats? Go read an actual sports blog, this is my time to just shove my opinions in your face.

 

Lastly, greatest movie of all time is Tarantino’s the Hateful 8.

 

You don’t agree with me about any of this? Come at me! Violence out!

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Written by Johnny Violence

The lead NHL/Hockey writer for Thoughts From The Bench.

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