Yesterday, you may have seen an article from the unbearable Joshua Elsass about his cornhole knowledge and ability.  He added some humility about him being the worst on his team which although is 100% accurate, was only stated to try and win some of you over because everyone loves a player who is seemingly humble.  But I know the real Josh Elsass…

Josh wants to talk about knowing more about the game which is cool and all if you’re a nerd.  I can know everything there is to know about cars but if I can’t physically perform the task of changing a tire when one goes flat, does it matter what I know?  I say no.  It’s all about performance.  I don’t need to win you over with words and cornhole techniques.  I will dominate by sheer talent.

Josh wants to refer to me as a “punk” for not showing up in “Pittsburhg”.  But I have no idea where that is unless he means PITTSBURGH where I proudly call home.  The reason I am not there to silence him now is because I am actively serving our country in the US military as part of the Air Force.  So when I am able to return home, I’ll be sure to shock Josh and show him to be careful when he challenges anyone again.

See Josh and I know each other, but he doesn’t know to what extent I will go for this challenge.  With all his “knowledge”, I hope he knows that I am an experienced player and a league champion in Great Falls, Montana and play consistently every week with a steady rotational path to the hole with every bag I toss.  Soon enough I’ll leave Josh with his jaw dropped and his bucket hat over his eyes to cover his tears.  Please remember… You asked for this Elsass.  And don’t forget, they call me Benny Buckets for a reason.  Straight cash homie.

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Written by benfiore

NBA writer of Beyond the Arc. Employee, podcast host and writer for Thoughts From the Bench.

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