Hey guys it’s Josh again. Look I know that we are all kind of kidding/kinda serious about the Area 51 thing… But I’m like growing more serious about turning into something closer to Fire Festival. So in that Spirit here is my lineup for the Area 51 Music Festival!

First let’s address the martian in the room. Every good music festival has a comedy tent. Who better to headline than…

Joe Rogan

The Podcast king and master of the bizarre could do a live podcast with Valiant Thor (Leader of the Venusian). If you don’t know who Valiant Thor is look it up. 

#5 – Lil Dicky

Look this whole thing is a big joke so why not. Little Dickie may end up stealing the show because I think he would truly embrace the levity of this situation. If you don’t believe me listen to his song “Earth”.

#4 – Alien Ant Farm

Uhhh duh!

#3 – Blink-182 with Tom Delonge

Look it is no secret Tom Delong loves Aliens. In fact he says he has been told a lot about them but can’t tell us what. Now would Tom be able to get through a set knowing he is mere yards away from the Grays? Probably not, but don’t you want to see him drop the guitar midway through Aliens Exist and go tearing off the stage towards the gates. 

#2 – Lil Wayne

Now we know that Weezy just walked off the Blink-182 Tour. But he literally calls himself a martian…. So that’s a no brainer right? He also makes a disturbing number of references to Aliens, hime being not human or a martian in his lyrics. One quick search on Genius and you are in for a rude awakening sorority girls.

#1 – Limp Bizkit

Look you can’t make this shit up. Not only did Limp Bizkit announce on their official Instagram they would play a show at Area 51. BUT IN 2020 CHOCOLATE STARFISH AND THE HOT DOG FLAVORED WATER WILL BE 20 YEARS OLD! You can’t make this shit up people.

So put your cold, slimy gray little hands in the air, now hands down, back up back up. Tell me you’ll see me at Area 51 now!

I hope to see you all next summer at Area 51 for the greatest Music Festival of all time sponsored by Thoughts From The Bench. But since the summer of 2020 is so far away we are leaving you with a gift. To get you pumped up for the Music Festival of the century here is a link to the Official TFTB Area 51 Music Festival Playlist, curated by yours truly.

P.S. A special thank you to my beautiful wife for giving me this crazy idea.