It’s finally come. The first round of the NFL Draft kicked off in Nashville last night, and BOY is there a lot we could talk about. However, I’m gonna try to spare you from a full first round analysis and attempt to boil it down to a few main points. You can see the entire first round of picks here.

Kyler Murray was picked #1 overall (to no one’s surprise)

No shock here. Guess we’ll have to wait and see how the Rosen-Murray situation plays out. I’m assuming they’ll try to trade him, but I’m not sure how much the Cards will get in return.

Clemson’s Clelin Ferrell went earlier than expected

I really don’t mind this pick. Everyone was up in arms about them passing on Josh Allen, but I don’t hate it. The NFL Draft process is this weird thing where all these “experts” make their mock drafts and form a consensus about the top 5 picks without knowing what the GM’s and coaches are actually thinking behind closed doors. Ferrell is an outstanding player and will most likely have an immediate impact in Oakland. Josh Allen is also an outstanding player and will most likely make an immediate impact in Jacksonville. I don’t see anything wrong here.

Daniel Jones is Eli Manning 2.0

I just… I just can’t understand this as a sixth overall pick. The Giants are the only team in the NFL that were actually considering taking this guy so high. He’s such a boring quarterback that it almost makes sense that he would replace Eli, considering Eli is the epitome of an unathletic, boring, and inconsistent starting QB. Jones is just more of the same, which does not bode well for New York. I just feel bad for Saquon Barkley… that kid is going to have his prime wasted by Dave Gettleman just wanting to appease the Manning family. This pick still has me speechless, if we’re being honest. Also, Jones was Pick #6… as in Pick Six. Get it? This situation is bad news bears.

At least the internet had fun with it:

The Steelers got it right

I AM SO GOD DAMN HAPPY ABOUT THIS. The last time the Steelers did something like this was to get Troy Polamalu, which set the tone for an entire generation of Steelers football. I love Bush, and I know for a fact he’ll hit the ground running. His speed might be exactly what we need without Shazier in the picture. Not sure what was going on with his Draft attire…

….but I don’t care. Devin Bush is a Pittsburgh Steeler.

Dwayne Haskins is SALTY…

… and he has every right to be. In no way, shape, or form is Jones a better prospect than Haskins. I feel for the kid (despite the fact that he’s a Buckeye). If Daniel Jones got picked over me in that situation, I’d be spiteful too.

Haskins can’t be too salty, though. His side hustle of charging a $50 entrance fee at his draft party (which also happened to be at a bowling alley) is gonna give him some cash flow before he even signs a contract. What a business-savvy (albeit interesting) move.

Notable names still available in Round 2

  • Greedy Williams, CB, LSU – I don’t wanna say “I told you so”, but I told you so. I had a feeling Deandre Baker (who was the 30th overall pick and the first CB taken) would go off the board before Greedy. He’ll definitely go in Round 2, but I can’t say I’m surprised has hasn’t gotten picked yet. Those tackling and effort issues are big red flags.
  • DK Metcalf, WR, Ole Miss – I stuck up for Metcalf when Two Beers Deep host and noted ignorant Pitt football fan Gregory Malek said he wasn’t a first round talent. I hate to admit it, but it looks like he’s right, and I was wrong. I definitely thought a team would take a chance on his athleticism and size, but I guess his route running was a big enough red flag for him to not get picked. I was wrong, Greg was right. This time.
  • Drew Lock, QB, Mizzou – The fact that Daniel Jones got picked over Lock is shocking. I’m definitely not completely sold on Lock, but he’s definitely not a worse pick than Daniel f*****g Jones. I definitely thought he’d go in the first round, but we’ll have to see which team takes a chance on him.
  • Byron Murphy, CB, Washington – I thought Murphy had a chance to sneak into the first round, but it turns out Baker was the only corner taken so far. I don’t expect Murphy will be waiting that long in Round 2 tonight, but we’ll have to see.
  • Trace McSorley, QB, Penn State – BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, I GET IT. McSorley won’t be a second or third round guy, but I’ll still be waiting for his name to be called on Day 3. I’m all aboard the Trace Train, which has been well documented on this site, so I just had to throw his name in here to upset Greg, Derrik, and all of the other naysayers out there. McSorley will be an NFL QB someday, you can take it to the bank.

Rounds 2 and 3 tonight will be interesting to say the least, unless you ask these bridesmaids that planned their bachelorette party in Nashville the same weekend the NFL Draft is taking over the city. Normally, I’d feel bad, but it’s their own fault. You have to be smarter than that.