I know nothing about the NFL Draft but everyone else is making one so what if the NFL drafted Pro Wrestlers? And here we go!
#1 Arizona Cardinals
They have the number one overall pick so you have to take the top name on the board. So no brainer Kenny Omega is going to Arizona. Any wrestling company would kill to have Kenny so he is number one overall.
# 2 San Francisco 49ers
Jimmy Garoppolo needs some weapons, so we need a guy who can match his pedigree and talent. Let’s go with the future of Cien Andrade Almas. This maybe a drafting for need over best player available. Cien would have the tools to help Jimmy prop up the 49ers.
#3 New York Jets
The Jets need someone to stop the bleeding. They need a franchise smash mouth defensive player. There is only one man to fill the role. Kevin Owens. KO is big, mean, and talks a lot of shit. He can be a marquee player on the small team on in the big market.
#4 Oakland Raiders
Coach Gruden needs his quarterback. He wants to put his young stud at the helm. He needs a young thoroughbred of a horse. A guy who can carry the team on his back for generations. A guy who reminds him of some of the greats of the past. This one is easy Bay Bay. Adam Cole will lead the Raiders into the next generation.
#5 Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Bucs need a young offensive franchise player to build around. But they need someone who can put asses in seats. They need someone to put this team on the map. It has always been a dream of that franchise to be a big deal. The man to make this dream come true is Velveteen Dream. The Dream can bring the media attention and deliver on the biggest stages.
#6 New York Giants
The Giants have there marquee offensive player now they need to look for defense. Since New York is the melting pot of the world then they need an immigrant. They need a man who is a hero back home who becomes a hero in New York. Rusev and Lana are going to be Giants.
#7 Jacksonville Jaguars
The Jags are stacked on both sides of the ball, but they need a leader. They need a proven commodity who can come in and lead this team to a Superbowl. They need someone who may or may not already be tied to their owner. The American Nightmare is going from Executive Vice President to starting quarterback. Cody was already a Jaguars so f*ck it.
#8 Detroit Lions
The Lions are looking for skill positions. So they need a guy who can play every down and make an impact. Preferably a guy who can go out and catch a ball. They need a guy with size but lethal appendages. Aleister Black you’re headed to the motor city.
#9 Buffalo Bills
Josh Allen is the Quarterback of the future. But he needs some elite receivers. So let’s take a tag team The Young Bucks are going to take their talents to Buffalo. The Bucks have been at the side of every Bullet Club leader since Prince Devitt. So why not bring in the true hands of the business to help raise up the young stud in Buffalo.
#10 Denver Broncos
The Broncos need pieces. They need help in a lot of departments, but they have to do it on the cheap. Joey Ryan is a guy who is not gonna give you a whole lot but what he does give you is great comedy wrestling. The King of Sleaze is now a Denver Bronco.
#11 Cincinnati Bengals
The Bengals are a team in transition. They have a few young guys to help them move forward but they have a lot of old guys still hangin around. They need a bridge to connect them. A person who connect a group and turns them into a club. They need Finn Balor. Finn untied all of the North American wrestler in New Japan to create the Bullet Club. Imagine if he can bring that FU attitude to the Bengals. This could be a huge turning point for the once proud franchise.
#12 Green Bay Packers
Aaron Rodgers is the leader of this team. They really just need a guy to come in and play defense to help them keep the ball in Aaron’s hands. They don’t need a star just a solid hand. Jay Lethal is that guy. A man who can influence the game on his side of the ball without making a huge fuss.
#13 Miami Dolphins
The Dolphins weren’t bad last year, but they clearly have some problems. They could use some help in the center of their defense. But it has to be a name, a guy who can help lead this team. Big strong aggressive, someone from Florida, a man of the people. Or maybe a dog of the people? Roman Reigns gets to fulfill his lifelong dream of playing for the Dolphins. Congrats Big Dog!
#14 Atlanta Falcons
Another team looking for a defensive mastermind. A rockstar of sorts. A guy who looks good in black and red. Shinsuke Nakamura welcome to the ATL.
#15 Washington Redskins
Alex Smith may not play this year. So the Redskins need a QB. They need someone who has that gunslinger mentality, a guy who isn’t afraid to take shots down the field. A guy who is phenomenal in the pocket. A guy who will make the rest of the league think “they don’t want none”. AJ Styles is now a member of the Washington Redskins.
#16 Carolina Panthers
We know Carolina is set on the offensive side of the ball, but they could use some help in the secondary. A guy with speed. A guy who can make highlight reel plays. Ricochet is the perfect fit for Carolina. He is fast high flying guy to patrol the secondary.
#17 Cleveland Browns
Johnny Gargano… He will play whatever position they want.
#18 Minnesota Vikings
The Vikings need a beast a man who can help shut down other teams. A guy who can get into the back field and destroy opposing quarterbacks. Preferably a guy who is already familiar with the system Brock Lesnar is making his return to the twin cities.
#19 Tennessee Titans
The Titans need to put more weapons around Marcus Mariota so let’s give him a pair of dynamic workers. The Lucha Brothers Rey Fenix and Pentagon Jr. Are taking their unique star power to Tennessee in hope to get the titans back on track.
#20 Pittsburgh Steelers
What don’t the Steelers need. They need help at linebacker and secondary. They need size. They need guys to help Big Ben take control of this team again. They need a guys who are leader on the field and in the room. They need The Guerrillas of Destiny. Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa can come in and give the weak Steelers D some much needed attitude. Plus Toma Tonga’s hair reminds me of Troy Polamalu.
#21 Seattle Seahawks
This is a no brainer Daniel Bryan is coming home to Washington.
#22 Baltimore Ravens
The Ravens have made Lamar Jackson the guy, now they need to put him in a system that benefits him. A pair of top receivers who are all fists and no flips. They need The Revival. Dash and Dawson are still young enough to grow with Jackson while giving the snarl and ability to block down field when he decides to leave the pocket.
#23 Houston Texans
The Texans desperately need an offensive line. Some big guys who can hunker down and work like machines. TUCKY! You and your brother Ottis are headed to Houston.
#24 Oakland Raiders
The Raiders addressed their franchise quarterback in the first round, but we all know Adam Cole doesn’t travel alone. The Undisputed Era will be joining him.
#25 Philadelphia Eagles
The Eagles are great they just need more depth. They need guys on the defensive side of the ball who play with attitude and can fill any role. The Briscoes are going to the trashiest city on the planet. Welcome to Philly I think you’ll fit right in.
#26 Indianapolis Colts
Andrew Luck needs some help! My boy Marlon Mack can’t do it alone. So let’s get him a guy who can go out there and catch a damn ball. Lets get him a guy who can fly. A guy who also has some serious injury problems. Let’s get him Sami Zayn!
#27 Oakland Raider
For their third pick in the first round the Raiders need to continue to add pieces. They need more guys to fit the undisputed eras mold. Small guys with a lot of skill. Villians, guys who look good in black. Marty Scurll is now a member of the Oakland Raiders.
#28 Los Angele Chargers
The Chargers have made a habit of drafting Pro Bowlers. So lets not mess this up Seth Rollins is taking his talents to LA.
#29 Kansas City Chiefs
The Chiefs need to fill the Kareem Hunt sized hole in their backfield. They need an every down back who can catch out of the backfield. A guy who can be dynamic and work into Andy Reeds offense. They need a guy like Tetsuya Naito. A guy who an get down and dirty or fly high.
#30 Green Bay Packers
The Packers have already added ROH stall worth Jay Lethal to their roster. So why not continue to pick from the indie brands roster. Brody King is taking his smash mouth style of defense to the Pack.
#31 Los Angeles Rams
The Rams lost in the Super Bowl to the Patriots. They should be very good again this season. Their D was the best in the league and offense was in the top five in the league. They are loaded with stars everywhere. So what would it hurt to just tip the scales by adding one more mega star. John Cena, you’re already in Hollywood acting you might as well play some football.
#32 New England Patriots
Gronk is gone. Tom Brady needs a new giant friend. A guy who is clutch. A guy who has as impressive of a winning record as Brady has. Kazuchika Okada is going to help continue the dynasty in New England.